Soooo....

My wife is leaving me. How do you really write about something like that? Its a situation I find myself ill equipped to deal with. I have no frame of reference, and I cant turn it into a sports analogy like the news pundits do because I know nothing about the wacky sports in this country.

I suppose I could write about how I "feel"

When she told me there was someone else I was (naturally) shocked

When I found out he was 19 and in Northern Ireland I was confused

When she bought an 800 dollar plane ticket to go see him I was angry

When she started talking to him on the voice chat while I was in the room I was sad

When I started talking to my friends about getting an apartment together I was excited

When I realized I would be able to make ex-wife jokes I considered a career as a stand up comedian.

I always try to look on the bright side of things, I suppose this means the world is my oyster.

I hate oysters.

The world is my taco.